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I thought it might be fun to have a preseason poll for the worst teams in college football heading into the 2021 season. They deserve some recognition for their ineptness. After all, it takes some skill to be this bad.
NO.10: VANDERBILT Ok, they play in the SEC, I get that, and they could win more games in another conference. Maybe a couple but they are consistently mediocre and besides that, the SEC needs a representative to this esteemed group.
NO. 9 KANSAS The Jayhawks deserve to be in this poll. You have to earn your stripes and they have. Who else hires a new coach on the day before the Spring game? The only question is should they be ranked higher.
NO. 8 UCONN The Huskies are a team that belongs in a conference but can’t find anyone to take them in. They were so bad they canceled their entire schedule in 2020 and celebrated a great season.
NO. 7 UNLV The Rebels are the definition of failure which simply puts means lack of success. Don’t expect much out of these perennial losers.
NO. 6 UTEP The Miners are rated just a notch below UNLV because Vegas is more fun than El Paso I would think. Can you imagine telling a prospective recruit that you are going to be playing in El Paso on the Texas-Mexico border for a team that sucks?
NO. 5 BOWLING GREEN It hasn’t been too long ago when Urban Meyer roamed the sidelines for the Falcons and they were competing for MAC championships. Rumor has it that last season, after losing all five of the games that they played, when the final game was canceled due to Covid, they took a celebratory team picture at the 50-yard line and claimed victory.
NO. 4 NEW MEXICO STATE There is one thing you can say about the Aggies and that is they are consistent. Unfortunately, they are consistently BAD. Don’t expect anything more in 2021.
NO. 3 LOUISIANA MONROE When you are the worst team in the Sun-Belt Conference you have to make this poll. The Warhawks went 0-10 in 2020 and somehow lured Terry Bowden to be their coach. Bowden is undergoing psychiatric evaluations as we speak.
NO. 2 UMASS Progress for the Minutemen would be to go into halftime down by only 20 points. They have very little hope playing an independent schedule that includes games with Pittsburgh, Boston College, Coastal Carolina, Toledo, and Florida State. This is proof that you can always find somebody to coach.
AND, DRUM ROLL PLEASE, HERE IS NO. 1 IN THE BOTTOM TEN PRESEASON POLL
NO. 1 AKRON ZIPS They are No.1 for a couple of reasons. The obvious one is because they suck. But the main reason is, what in the world is a Zip? Is is half a zipper? Is it an unpopped zit? Ok, I looked it up and thanks to Google, Zippy was a kangaroo who became their mascot in 1953 and it was shortened to Zips. There is no truth to rumors about kangaroos running loose in Akron, Ohio. And, one more interesting thing, Terry Bowden the coach for our No. 3 team also coached the Akron Zips!!
So, there you have it. My preseason Bottom Ten poll. If there are any fans of these teams (you have my condolences), and if you are mad at me I really don’t care. But, if any of these teams win a game, this poll will be adjusted weekly just like the Top-25 poll. Good luck to everyone.
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