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Why We Hate Your Derby Horse

Why We Hate Your Derby Horse

Three days ago I read the above tweet and literally laughed out loud.  How much more true can one tweet be?  We all know the types of people on twitter he is talking about, and we’ve all probably even been that person a time or two as well.  Also, we all know how hard it is to pick a Kentucky Derby horse.  It involves hours of work…and when we finally do pick a Derby horse there are always people ready to tell us why the horse won’t win.  So today WE are going to be “that guy.”  We are going to tell you why your Derby horse won’t win on the first Saturday in May.  Get ready to be angry!

DISCLAMER: This is meant to not be 100% serious…kind of…

California Chrome

C’mon on!  Can you be any more West Coast biased?  California Chrome has never even raced outside the state of California, and he hasn’t ran a fast race outside of Santa Anita.  Plus…look at that pedigree.  Hardly anything to brag about, and definitely not worthy of winning the countries biggest race.  Keep “California Dreamin” Socal peeps!

Vicar’s In Trouble

The only way this horse gets the mile and a quarter is if he’s riding in a horse van the last quarter of a mile!  Did you see the stretch run of the Louisiana Derby??  Stagger fest to say the least!

Dance With Fate

He can’t run on dirt!  His only two efforts over the dirt were terrible, and even his trainer said immediately after his Bluegrass romp that he probably wouldn’t run in the Derby.  Looks like he talked himself into it.

Wicked Strong

Last time I checked Churchill Downs was not located in New York.  Outside of the empire state Wicked Strong is 0 for 2, beaten 22+ lengths.  My Old Kentucky Home won’t be kind to him.


Do you really think a New York bred can win the Kentucky Derby?  Especially one with a shoddy distance pedigree like this one…


He’s named after Tony Danza…need I say more?  Plus what is Todd Pletcher’s record in the Kentucky Derby?  Like 1 for a billion?


Ever heard of the Curse of Apollo?  Yeah I have too.  Do you think this horse is better than Curlin or Bodemeister?  They couldn’t overcome not racing at the age of two, and neither will Hoppertunity.

Intense Holiday

Again…did you watch the Louisiana Derby stretch run?  Intense Holiday twisted up like a pretzel in that race.  Plus you’ve got the Pletcher factor once again.

Wildcat Red

Sorry Wildcat but this isn’t Gulfstream Park.  The track isn’t going to carry you to the wire this time.  After his latest workout over the Churchill surface, he’ll probably spit the bit within the first six furlongs.

We Miss Artie

PLEASE!  Even his trainer said he sucks on dirt.  As if we needed him to tell us that…oh yeah and he’s another trained by Todd Pletcher.

Ride On Curlin

He may be by Curlin, but don’t let that bias get the best of you!  He’s been defeated sounded in all three prep races, and we know Oaklawn wasn’t the strongest this year.  He’ll need more than Calvin Borel magic to win.


Give me a break this horse will be wobbling down the stretch like a drunk on Beale Street!


He’s by Tapit…they always fizzle out, plus none of them can get a mile and a quarter.  Did you see him hit the brick wall in the Arkansas Derby?

General A Rod

He hangs more than…well…a hanger.  His favorite game is Hangman.

Medal Count

Another poly track/turf specialist that won’t do much.  His two dirt races he’s lost by a combined 27 lengths.

Candy Boy

Who has this horse ever beat?  Midnight Hawk?  Chitu? Tap It Rich?  Please!

Uncle Sigh

The horse everyone likes to overrate!  Sure he’s got a little bit of talent, but look at his PP’s…one victory in five starts.  Plus he’s by Indian Charlie so there is zero chance of him going long.


How do you even say his name?  His races on dirt are ok, but not even close to good enough.  Plus once again….TODD PLETCHER trained

Harry’s Holiday

Really?  Do I even have to say anything about this one?

Commanding Curve

He is going to be the “wise guy” horse of many people so doesn’t that automatically mean he’s a toss?  When is the last time the “wise guy” horse won the Derby?  Ever?


Pablo Del Monte

Now we move on to the four that are not in the race just yet…instant toss here.

Social Inclusion

Did you see what happened when he left Gulfstream?  He got caught when the waters got deep and the distance got longer.

Big Bazinga

One win at Woodbine followed by six straight losses.  That doesn’t equal Kentucky Derby victory.

Strong Mandate

I just put him on here to be funny.  If he makes the race he’s actually my pick to win it!  (He’s really not)

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