Another RACING DUDES EXCLUSIVE: Comments from each Horse Following the Preakness

1. California Chrome: “Do you want to know why I put on 35 pounds between the Derby and Preakness?  I POUNDED these Mayland crab cakes all week long!  For real guys Vince Vaughn wasn’t lying…these things are delicious!  As far as the race goes, easy as always.  I just keep waiting for Art to tell me this was all a big set up, and I’m not actually running in the real Derby and Preakness.  Its just so easy.  New York here I come…what kind of food do they have there?”

2. Ride On Curlin: “What can I say…I ran as hard as I could but I just couldn’t catch that freak.  Bronco Billy wanted to put a chicken on me, but after that ride I think Rosario will be just fine from now on.  What’s that?  He’s thinking about riding Tonalist in the Belmont??  Dirty little traitor!  Ok bring on the chicken…”

3. Social Inclusion: “I was straight up PISSED OFF on Saturday.  They always have the same guy riding me, which is fine, but I caught a glimpse of something I’ve never seen before…a FEMALE jockey.  As soon as I saw her I started to try and buck my rider off…I didn’t want him anymore.  In the gate I tried as hard as I could off to get that little guy off me.  That female jockey was right by me!!  It didn’t work so I decided to let the other horses win in protest.”

4. General A Rod: “I was playing my favorite game (Hangman) with Mike at the barn…I beat his ass every time!  Really though, how hard is it to beat Maker at Hangman?  Have you ever heard him talk?  I think he knows like five words total.  You guys are really lucky you don’t have to spend a lot of time with him.  Talk about a lot of moments of awkward silence…creepy.”

5. Ring Weekend: “Considering I’m not very good, I thought the effort was pretty strong from me today.  I’m a little surprised I was able to beat half the field.  There must have been some real dogs running behind me.  I know one was a girl so that doesn’t count…another was ridden by a girl so that doesn’t count…oh wait one was trained by a girl too?  Ok so really I beat two horses…awesome.”

6. Pablo Del Monte: “I sorry senor…I speak-a-no English.”

7. Dynamic Impact: “People really thought me beating Midnight Hawk was a big deal?  Hell we horses know him very well, and he flat out told us he hates Bob Baffert and he just quits on purposes after a mile.  He basically slowed to a walk in the Illinois Derby, and I STILL barely beat him.  We were laughing together all the way back to the grandstand. Seriously…that horse hates Bob Baffert.”

8. Kid Cruz: “I told everyone I knew that I’m way to slow and to not waste any of their money.  I’m an ex-claimer!!  Get real people you really thought I could win?  Forget about the hot pace…those horses would have to fall down before I could pass them.  Take me to Finger Lakes please!”

9. Bayern: “Come on!  How do you expect me to run with that fiery red head sitting on top of me??  She’s so hot…its all I could think about the entire way around.  Even though she almost killed my ass coming out of the gate, I still wasn’t mad at her!  Vicar’s In Trouble tried to warn me that it’s hard to concentrate with her on top, but I didn’t listen.  I will listen from now on.”

10. Ria Antonia: “I hate my life.”